Isn't it strange how something I mentioned that was never done by my partner to a mutual "friend" on Saturday night he's just done. Coincidence? Time will tell.

Maybe I'm just in a bad space, but all my being is telling me something is not adding up.

Watch this space.

On a more happier note. My sister and I have decided to have a weekly Sunday dinner with all the family. Mainly because my mum and dad are getting on in years and we've had a couple of deaths recently that have been a bit close to home so we want our kids to get to know their grandparents before it's too late. From my side my mum and dad looked after my kids after primary school so they don't have great memories, mainly because the oldies felt the need to be the parents. So I'd like them to get to know them in a happier setting. And so far it's been 2 weeks and it's going well. We have such a good laugh in these short times, that's what I want to remember them for. Not the grumpy family stuff.

Fuck, I've just had another rude client on the phone. Really, people should grow a pair!

It's 3.47 and my partner is still not back. If I didn't know any better I'd think he was up to no good. Maybe he is.

So I'm feeling a wee bit down today and it's not because it's Monday. Not sure what to do with my flailing (is that a word) relationship. I'm so proud and stubborn and embarrassed to talk to anyone about it! That seems to be the story of my life. I'll listen to other peoples worries but never discuss my own. Hence the blog. It just seems to be an anonymous way of putting my thoughts down. And of course no one can judge me, because lets be honest, everyone judges there friends etc when they are having a moan or a crisis - oh Jemima should've done this Jemima should've done that, like we're all big know it alls and have got it all figures out! If only!

As usual I'll not get too personal until I'm sure no-one reads this! Then I'll let it all hang out! And I think it'll get quite juicy at times - I'll have my own little personal soapie going on!!

So I've decided to start a blog. It's really just an on-line diary. With my thoughts. Thoughts that I don't want to share with anyone in particular. Just random ramblings. I don't expect anyone to ever find it, and will be mortified if anyone does!